STRANGELY HOPEFULL

I won't ever do wrong by you / Grieving the Holy Spirit

So what does it mean to say that you won't do wrong by me that when you choose someone else to marry while you were with me and telling me that you won't ever marry giving me the illusion that I have no way of continuing in this relationship. So what does it mean you won't do wrong by me when I get to be treated like a door mat and no phone call or text no attention like I am someone that matters to you. So what does it mean that you won't do wrong by me when you explain the love you feel for the person you chose the love you never showed me the time you never gave me the way you never treated me. So what does it mean that you won't do wrong by me that you come and take me to expensive dinner believing that you can ask me to bless your relationship on my birthday, when you didn't even have time for me when you were with me.

So what does it mean that you won't do wrong by me when you call me to discuss your problem so I can maybe be there when you are out if balance or confused. So what does it mean really how did I come to this point where you call me to tell me all the problem you could be having with your love when I am suppose to be your wife.

Then I started thinking how I grieve the holy spirit everyday, How I keep on praying that I love you to Jesus and I keep on deciding other wise every minute. How I keep on doing wrong by the holy spirit by not paying attention every time and decide to love something else other than my God. How I decide to pay attention  marry and love other than holy spirit and come to ask Jesus to help me when I am having a hard time there. Who am I married to Who do I love the most, who am I committed to who do I pay attention to most. How I have been denying my time to Christ when he took the time to die for me, he took the time to come down from heaven to explain and show me how much he loves me. How do I go past a day without committing to you without loving on you with out giving you attention with out having to hurt you before you decide to leave me and marry someone else like all the other guys I ever dated.