I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line



All of this in the song of Johnny Cash is what I had been could been and what was..
I loved him like this. But it turned out it was all in vain. Even all the promises all the words all the years of waiting for someone worthy had been wasted to an ash. My heart is on its final release of this so called true love. I don't know maybe i have over loved him over gave him and he just through it out. The reason can't even be good enough to leave a friend let alone a girl he so claimed he thought of for years and claimed he loved more than he ever thought. Am incapable of fighting this now i thought could it have been the time could it have been the family could it have been the distance the space the maturity nothing can be good enough for me because for the sake of it I sacrificed more than necessary for someone unworthy. Now I am paying the price to make my heart ever think this was it this was the real love i have always dreamt of.

Being a woman I know I shouldn't have sacrificed this much and put my heart on the line too much now I am trying to find a way to heal to be ok to finally release to let go to be free.
Any recommendation will be gladly accepted....

Life is a complete surprise its nothing like I expected. I want to pray to my dad who just died a two weeks ago. Its amazing miracle but i think my dad is gone to heaven, he is incredibly kind with the with the biggest heart I have heard of or seen. Why is there so little number of those kind of people in the world is not a known answer to ask. But for once in my life I am really questioning whats my purpose in life. I think baba has served his purpose is a least I can say. He is beyond strength and power of his positivity and all the good things that needed appreciation and response and love. I am sure he is in heaven alive and well and watching over me and waiting for me. He is the most holy person I have known and met in my life. Nobody in sight is as warm as you as loving as you as giving as you as intelligent as you. When life is happy I will miss how your presence gave me resilience love joy and relief. And when life is hard I will miss that your presence instilled more confidence and even more solution and strength for my life. You are my world and everything thats good in me and the world. I am missing my soul my father and my sunshine. You engraved intelligence warmth and honesty in me I will never get from anyone else. I miss you daddy.

I have met people in my life that are so smart and amazing i love them even at the moment i met them and for me thats a lot cuz i don't so that. there are others who just suck beyond measure and some who make u feel like they are real and smart but i find them completely ignorant. mean even the rational arguement they make makes me want to cry and not really talk about whats the real issue at hand.