STRANGELY HOPEFULL

Economics is Accurate "No Such thing as free meal"

I get it now there is no such thing as free meal, humans will definitely get their money their energy their efforts worth. It is not necessarily bad actually literally every single one of us are normally like that I only know one person who can really just give and never ask to take. Starting from me I actually give so I can take later I maybe be selfish sometimes. And I think my lesson for this life time is this because I keep on getting the same type of test over and over again and I definitely failed it more than two times going to three times.

But the second time is so weird that I didn't even see it coming. Okay I am talking about the guy I dated more than a year and I thought would actually marry me or loved me for real turned out to settle for someone else who is not me. And the weird stuff is that he wasn't sure he wanted to get married when he was with me and that he is telling me he is marrying this girl 4 months after he told me that. He kept on saying he can't talk to his kids and stuff like that well he is now gonna do that and more. He told me that he decided to wait on a lot of things with her and that she agreed that she will be a stay home wife and not work at all. He said he is buying a bigger house because she wants 6 kids. He said she wants to go to church and not the club. He told me that she listens to him and that she works out because he told her. She is not here actually she is coming to US with his mom and dad he already finished the process for her. He told me that his ex wife called and congratulated him on his new marriage. I think he is already married and he asked me to bless him. And All of this is weird I know I didn't want to marry him and that I was hesitant and he was really treating me like I was nothing to him. His character definitely made me walk away I hope he treats this one right.

But here is the thing the first I dated did the same thing and he was more than hurtful he just met her on the phone then as soon as he visited and met her he decided to commit and decided to choose her and completely give in. I know its crazy but both of these men decided to commit right after they dated me so I am definitely the common denominator. Am I that mean and cruel I know there is something that I can't see but that I keep on sabotaging myself.

So what is it how did I get here from shy principled decent girl who can't express herself to this girl that all the guys I actually dated and put effort in never committed to me and in fact were hesitant and next girl they met decided to marry right away. About this one I think he just hang out this long to get back his money worth and I gave it all back now I can't even ask him for a job because he will give me out of guilt and that will never work out. My brother is so smart he wouldn't work with this guy because he realized that he will get his moneys worth whenever he gets it. The other guy was hesitant I think he just backed up maybe because of my character is a bit flaky and that I wasn't exactly like what he thought.